| There it goes! Can you see it?? Out the window, being whisked away by the spirits of Vincent Minelli and Bob Fosse...taking it out of the hands of today's incapable visionaries.
As a native New Yorker who has seen the original show on Broadway I was delighted that they were putting The Producers on film, in fact I have been waiting anxiously for its release. Well I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but the reviews are in. Alas....they are less than stellar and I cannot descibe how shocked and disappointed I am. The Times hated it. The Daily News hated it. But the worst is the review from the NY Post. Scathing. I give the critic credit for being so creative! It's actually so hilarious (probably funnier than the movie) I had to share.
THE PRODUCERS
Great White Waste.
reviewed by NY Post Film Critic Kyle Smith
(Sung to the tune of "Comedy Tonight")
Something fiasco
Something disast-o
Something just tedious
A musical that bites!
On Broadway, it's money
This time, not funny
You'll flee the multiplex
This movie is a blight!
There's Nathan Lane,
Why he so lame?
Hey, Susan Stroman, you get the blame
She's the director
You'll disrespect her
notion that cinema's like stage
Please move that camera
Try to earn your wage!
Matthew's a robot
Uma's a sexpot
Pratfalling everywhere
With all of their might!
They're so frenetic
It's anesthetic
Acting like tryptophan
You'll sleep through the night!
Shtick that's so broad
It's funny - like, odd
Inviting wrath from comedy's god
Will Ferrell's Nazi
Isn't so hotsy
But he beats the swishy, mincing gays!
Camping it so queerly
Redefining trite
Staging that's static
Jokes from the attic
Of Borscht belt comedians
A masterpiece! (Yeah, right)
Numbers as hokey
As karaoke
"Springtime for Hitler" is
The only bit that's right!
Yes it's peculiar
How a familiar
story that used to work
Can tumble from such heights
Broadway's forgiving
Of gags that aren't living
Theater's so phony that
Your fancy takes flight.
Here's news that's grim:
This one's so meek
Screen musicals get canceled next week.
After "Chicago"
There was a warm glow
Now it's all over, say goodnight!
"Sweeney Todd" and "Les Miz,"
in turnaround, that's showbiz!
"Mamma Mia" so dead,
Couldn't get arrested
"Guys and Dolls"
Will take the fall
In 3-1-0
Because this blows
It tanks, it's rank
Sinks, stinks -
Slapstick so thick the hicks won't stick.
From bad to worse
Even in verse
"The Producers" moves like a hearse
Mildness and blandness
Mugging like madness
Who knew that "Rent" would win this fight?
Murdering a genre's just not all right!
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