The book club I belong to has read one heartbreaking/tragic/depressing book after another, with only 1 or 2 exceptions.

What is it with book clubs and depressing books? Does people in the book clubs think that happy or uplifting books are not good literature or do not provide fodder for a good discussion? Often, when I'm reading the selected books, it feels too much like being back in school where I had to trudge through books I didn't enjoy...

The discussions have not been as enriching as they could be, either. Frequently, they tend to focus on minor aspects of the book, and have overlooked the most obvious themes presented. Example: with People of the Book, there was hardly any discussion about the true story and book upon which the novel is based, which is an amazing story on its own. They concentrated on the strained mother-daughter relationship of the curator that restores the book (I tried to stir the discussion away, to no avail).

What has your experience been with book clubs? Depressing or sad books also? If so, how do you feel about that? What about the discussions? Have they been thought-provoking, rewarding? And how do you maneuver the discussion in one direction? There is no leader in our group. The person who nominated the book, leads the discussion for that book. The group was organized by a local bookstore a year ago (books are chosen though by members of the group).

I do think people feel that "serious" or "real-life" books offer better discussion. Tolstoy says (approximately): "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." The unique problems offer scope for dissection.

We take turns proposing three or four books, and the group chooses one from that list for the next meeting.

Our discussion of People of the Book also dwelt on the restorer's life-maybe because in my group we are all daughters, and several are also mothers of daughters.

I feel your pain. :-)

In the book club I was in, I was sort of the ring leader, but do what I could, there was a hopeless list of depressing books for a while, and then the discussions were hopeless - people who came who hadn't read the book, going on for hours socially speaking (not book-related), and poor turnout.

At first, I took over the choosing of the books (me - bossy?) and came to bringing a bag of books to book club to choose from - all books I would like to read at some point and ones which would have engendered a good discussion.

And then I would put lots of effort into finding reading quides and extra info, but, tbh, it didn't really make a difference and so I retired the leadership of the book club which meant that the book club folded.

Since then, I have been perfectly happy not being in a book club and being free to choose my own books. I am trying, however, to really expand my reading experiences though - at least that is one good thing about a proper book club.

You don't sound too satisfied with yours. I used to feel a certain commitment to the group, but then realized that this was graduate school, and if I didn't want to do it, then I didn't have to, and thus was liberated. :-)

Slightly off topic, does anyone have men coming to their book groups? We have a group that's been meeting for over two years at our library and we've had an ebb and flow of members, but never a male. I wonder if a guy would break us out of our morose rut.

And just like your book club, there are many meetings when we have almost no book discussions - simply skimming the book and wallowing in chit-chat instead. These meetings are hard for me as I would much rather discuss the book. Then again, I try to remember that perhaps the discussion and/or conversations go to the topics that we need to talk about sometimes. Does this make any sense? All in all, I try to remember that I am there primarly for the people, the reading comaraderie, more than to simply demand an in depth book discussion each month.

Keep us posted on how things progress in your book club.
PAM

I end up not reading the book two or three times a year because it is so off my tastes that I cannot read it. On the other hand, I have read some books I never would have picked up that I ended up just loving. All in all, it has been an enriching experience for me.

Rosefolly

Phaedosia, our book group is all women, though the one's DH suggested our last book, The Tender Bar, and participated in the discussion. It was nice to have a guy's perspective, especially when discussing a male memoir.

I agree with Netla: "...choosing depressing books may have something to do with their perceived worthiness." I know that seems to be the case with my DD's high school reading list, too. Why do educators insist on loading kids down with depressing literature? I would think that would turn them off reading for life.

I'm a firm believer that life's too short to read disturbing/depressing books, even for your book club.

I personally will not read any books suggested by Oprah.
She seems to thrive on misery.

If I am going to read a book, I want to either learn something or enjoy the telling of the tale.
Misery?
Bah.

" The poor old Earth must borrow it's mirth
But has trials enough of it's own."
( did I quote this correctly?)

I have never wanted to join a book club and why should I when I have this forum? Drop in, drop out any time and read whatever books mentioned here that I fancy. Thank you all!

There was one fascinating time, however, when the book chosen was one of Anne Tyler's. I don't remember the title, but the protagonist was a woman who ran away from home, eventually returning. I was surprised to find that all of these staid middle-class women had at one time, for various lengths of time, run away from home! And always for the same reason - they got tired of give, give, give all the time, not being appreciated. All of them returned rather quickly. I will never forget hearing those women recount their short adventures. For all of them, it was the only time they were actually alone in their entire lives, even if only for a few hours. Very foreign to someone like me, who has lived a peripatetic existence by choice. I guess I did get something from my book club experience, although not what I expected!

I really enjoy my book group, although the the enjoyability of the books seems to ebb and flow. We do some socializing at the beginning, but we actually do spend the majority of the time talking about the book. We're a pretty homogenous group, but we don't spend a lot of time relating the books to our own lives, except in special instances.

I used to be the de facto leader of the group, but I grew tired of the burden and now whoever hosts the meeting runs the discussion. Again, some lead better discussions than others. We don't always dig as deep as I would like, but we usually have a pretty good discussion.

I also used to be upset when people didn't read the book. I remember one meeting -- we read "Little Women" -- and only four people showed up ... and two of us had actually read the book. Very disappointing! So I decided to relax about the whole thing. Now, if I don't like a book, I just don't read it. Last year I chose not to read "Rush Home Road" because I found it disturbing. The year before I chose not to read "The Shack" -- for several reasons. Anyway, now that I'm more relaxed about the reading I'm enjoying myself more.

**do I need to use my Thesaurus to come up with another word for "discuss"? lol

Some book clubs that I have known assemble just for purposes of drinking themselves silly on wine and using the "book" theme as an acceptable excuse to leave the hubby for an evening.
Forget the book, I'd like to sit with that group of woman and discuss their self-images and skewed relationships with their significant others !!
This is one of my personal pet peeves: Women emotionally tethered to their spouse so that they can't allow themselves guiltless time apart.

My biggest complaint about my book groups is that people don't approach books as literature. They fail to perceive or understand the author's intent or to recognize any body of literature that has contributed to the work in question... Instead, they somehow take the work personally, without the larger view.

For example, in one memorable discussion, one member insisted that "if only [the mother character] had taken anti-depressants, then the family would have been OK." My position was that if the mother character had taken anti-depressants, there would have been no story.

kkay md, I run into those readers all the time who want to rewrite the book to suit their own notions. I am guilty of it myself sometimes, but I think some readers carry it to a ridiculous extreme. The best example I can think of right now are those readers who say Scarlett O'Hara was a ninny for being in love with Ashley Wilkes when Rhett Butler was more her kind of man. They often say, "I wanted to slap some sense into Scarlett." When I hear or read about "slapping" Scarlett, I do not expect much literary insight from those reviewers' opinions.

The other book club, years later, was quite different. The choices tended to be more "chick lit" than serious. Wine was served toward the end of the evening, and at that point discussions really deteriorated. The meetings often turned into pity parties, or worse.

I am with the poster who feels no need of a book club, now that I have found Readers Paradise.

It was never my intention to belong to a book club because I don't like reading books that I am not interested. I joined by accident: since it is organized by a bookstore, I thought a salesperson would choose a book, and you could drop by for the discussion if you had read the book or were interested in reading that book, but that you didn't have to be a member of the club or go every month (a few months ago, Astrokath mentioned participating in a less structured book club like that). When I stopped by in December for a discussion of The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (which we discussed here in RP around 2004), the salesperson walked me to the group, saying: "We have a new member!". I almost say: "Hey, I didn't say anything about becoming a member", but they were introducing themselves, and they all were--and are--very nice. The discussion was scintillating, and I thought it would always be like that.

As Netla says, happier books often are not taken seriously or deemed "worthy". There must be out there some books that could engender a good discussion, without being a downer. I'm trying to find one of literary merit to suggest it to the group, preferably fiction.

Like KKay, I feel in our group books are not being discussed on a larger literary scope. Nor are we discussing the literary merits of the writing, beyond saying that it is well written. Or what may have motivated the author to write about that, and so on.

Our discussions are mostly about the book, with a member that tends to go on a bit about her personal life. At times sharing personal experiences can enrich the discussion. When we discussed Brooklyn, we had an Irish woman that came only that day (the book is about a young Irish woman who immigrates to US). It was enlightening to hear her point of view. A couple of women in her 20's came once, but didn't come back. No men so far, which would broaden the points of view and book choices. People who don't read the book, don't show up, which leads to poor turnout at times (twice only 2 persons have showed up). We have read some "book club books", like People of the Book, but in general, have stayed away from bestsellers, like The Help (at least, so far).

Do people really enjoy reading about children in gas chambers, children being forced to kill other children, egotistical professors who are dying, or God inviting someone to spend the weekend in the same place their child was murdered? There is too much real life bad stuff going on for me to want to make my reading life full of pain, horror or angst.

Each month a different person picks the book and leads the discussion. My turn is soon and there will not be a single bit of torture or murder in the book I chose! I really like your idea of going around and having each person say what they thought before the discussion starts.

There was one book I'd read because the gal in the post office suggested it.....BROKEN FOR YOU.....which was something I probably wouldn't have read, yet found it somehow compelling. I think it might be an interesting discussion at a book group.

Has anyone else read it?
After putting it down, I felt that I wanted to clean out my things and get rid of everything that had lost relevance at this point in my life !
That included some people as well.

Some relationships are outgrown.
Life moves on.
Perhpas we need to free ourselves of all that doesn't move us forward.

**HEY ! wouldn't I be your worst nightmare in a book group!? THAT'S why I would never be in one...for fear that someone like me would unload on the captive audience !! LOL

I want to read well-written fiction. I don't care if it's depressing or delightful. I don't care if it's historical fiction or science fiction or fantasy or mystery. What I care about is that the author can string words together in a way that draws me in and makes me care about the characters and what happens to them.

I hate to see discerning readers discard the Oprah picks just because they were downers...or just because Oprah picked them. I read a fair number of her choices before she ever discovered them, and I was glad to see those authors getting the recognition I felt they deserved. (Fall on Your Knees, by Ann-Marie MacDonald...an exquisitely written novel about an incredibly awful family. I didn't want it to end.)

Stories without conflict....not much to write about. Not much to talk about. Shakespeare knew that dysfuntional families and star-crossed lovers brought out the audiences. Tragedy or comedy....there has to be a hook.

Someone asked about Broken For You. Loved it; my book club loved it. A downer? In some ways, yes. But also a story to lift the spirits as well. I think the best writers do that. A writer who makes me think. A writer who gives me insight into the actions and motivations of others. A writer who gives me a new perspective on my own world, and on the worlds I will never experience. A writer who challenges my mind; a writer who delights my mind. These are the writers I want to read, in or out of a book club.

For the readers who avoid Oprah books, does that include the classics she's picked as well? I've seen before where people will avoid the Oprah books like the plague, and I always wonder if that includes Anna Karenina, As I Lay Dying, East of Eden, or the other classics she's picked.

The plot doesn't have much to do with books and reading, but it's still fun.